I hit a wall today and really need to get over it soon, so this is my attempt. I am so tired and can't go on with 3 hours of sleep a night. I am feeling so much pressure to do stuff I have a hard time seeing imperative when I just want to be in the classroom helping the kids. I am tired of being talked to like I am 5 from the program staff that are teaching us to be teachers. Today, after two weeks of note taking on my lap top (something many of us do), we were told we could longer use them to take notes because they, the TFA staff, think we are being distracted and not engaged in the material. First off, laptops were originally required and now I have a great organizational system on my computer. I am a successful college graduate who feels I should be able to organize myself in the way that I have learned, over the years, allows me to succeed best. In addition, our whole corps at my elementary school got talked to about not being engaged and not falling asleep/doodling (yes, a friend of mine got written up yesterday for doodling). This talk was right after a session that talked about if your students are not engaged and excited about what you are teaching then the teacher is failing the students and not doing their job effectively. It is so hard to stay awake everyday during these sessions with my un-engaging instructor when I slept for 3 hours the previous night because I was lesson planning.
I am just complaining and it’s not getting me anywhere. The kids are great... I have no idea why I am teaching 1st grade bilingual when I signed up for upper elementary English speaking as I do not know Spanish (yes, I know it is possible to teach English to Spanish speaking children without knowing Spanish, but I don't have a full understanding of proper methods and pedagogy. I would not mind the bilingual part if I was taught how to the material. Thank God for Kay's class at Whitman on teaching bilingual education, but, that didn't equip me to all of a sudden be alone in a first grade classroom and teach my lessons in English (they have never had an English teacher--Houston School District requires English to be taught starting in the 3rd grade) But, for some odd reason I am teaching these kids in English--mind you these are kids who are in summer school! So, they clearly need extra help. Am I really the person to provide that to them? I was a Sociology college student just a month ago... I am not trained for this!
Ok, I am done! I am meeting such amazing people here and I do like it... it is just an emotional roller coaster... seeing cockroaches attack my room, seeing students say new words in English, seeing them comprehend something I just taught them--today it was what a river is, and being called Ms because they have never had an English class and do not know the difference between Mr. and Ms makes it all worth it. -Robert
About Me
Favorite Things
- Cliff Bars
- Coffee
- Scandinavia
- J Crew
- Adventures and new places
- Good music that follows the likes of my madre and Angela
- Walla Walla, WA
- The beach
- Driving alone at night with the windows down and the music blarin'
- Orcas!
- Puppies--labs in particular
- Homemade Food
- Spinning class!
- Running, Biking, and fitness
- NW micro beer
- Wine
- Portland, OR
- 4th Grade literature
- Catcher in the Rye
- A Separate Peace
- Traveling
- Conversation
- Friends
- Finding Neverland
- Dead Poet's Society
- Good Will Hunting
- Water in general
- Swimming
- Children
2 comments:
It certainly sounds like you're in boot camp... Teacher Boot camp... I guess that's really what we're in.
Good luck with the rest of the week and hope you have a few mins of break this weekend.
If you need some pointers from a real teacher and not those people in your crazy program feel free to give me a call. I spend my entire day working on Comprehension! ELL kids are hard work, but very gratifying when they finally get it. Get the chart paper out and draw everything, have them be a river, let them make a river with dirt, a pitcher of water and a plastic tub, print out pictures of rivers from google images have them ask questions about rivers, teach them a song about a river, just google "river chant or song" and stuff will come up mind you today, we (4th graders) couldn't tell me the name of the body of water running through Portland and they see rivers all the fricken' time! Remember people need to hear something over and over again (don't know the actual number but I think it's 60 times?) before it is retained. Good luck, interesting to read about your experience, I'm becoming synical of this program you've got yourself in...doesn't seem like best practice for any type of learner! You will soon learn that in the gov't's eye being a teacher is not about the child it's about the chart showing a child's supposed "growth". good luck
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