I have wanted to write for quite awhile now, but every time I sit down to do so, there is not much to say. But, I guess there is. Let me begin with yesterday. After delivering some Intelligence tests to be scored at the district office, I arrived back at school mid afternoon to my principal sitting in a chair next to a 4th grade student who I will call John. She was clearly very upset with this boy and as I walked in the office, I said hello to my principal and she replies with, I am so glad to see you. She continues by telling me all about this students who is sitting in the office and the horrible horrible behavior he exhibited in his classroom pervious to my arrival. He had a substitute African American teacher who he called the "n" word to and said many other profanities out loud in class. He was sent to the office. He had received a referral the week prior and now needed to be suspended. My principal, who has a lot of experience working with Asperger's students from her previous school, told me he acted just the way they did. I don't know if he has Asperger's nor does she but he was showing similar behavior traits, but I will not make an assumption so for now, I will continue with him being unlabeled. Anyway, as my principal was explaining his behavior to me and he was sitting there spaced out looking to the ceiling, I could not help by well up in tears, I have no idea why, but I got really emotional. My principal asked me to take this boy back to my room until his mother could pick him up.
I took John back to my class. I spoke to him about his behavior and how it was affecting others. He told me about his family, his 8 siblings, his divorced parents, his mother who is taking care of his dying grandmother and raising 8 kids at the same time, and his abusive 12 year old brother that hits John and is verbally abusive. A lot for this 8 year old. I told him that his behavior toward his substitute caused a similar feeling for the substitute just as when John's 12 year older brother is verbally abusive to him. He began to cry. I think he realized how much his actions hurt the substitute and the people in his class. I asked him what the problem was--he replied with, "the classroom had a new teacher and there was too much change" and "the class was too noisy he could not work". (these traits are classic Asperger's as students with this condition cannot handle change in routine nor loud over stimulating noises). John also explained that he has no friends and that people are mean to him. But, I explained, he needs to be nice to people for people to be nice to him (he is known for telling kids off and being really rude)
So, John and I talked. I told him that his behavior needs to change and that it is unacceptable. I told him I was here for him; I asked him what I could do for him. He told me he wanted me to be his friend, so we are friends now. I am hoping that I can help him change his behavior and learn coping strategies for loud noises, change in routine, how to make friends. His mother never came to pick him up so John and I read a book about whales. While we read I played him some whale sounds from a cd I have so he could hear what they sound like. After the story he wrote a paragraph about whales and what he learned. Then he did some math and showed me his 4th grade math skills.
John validates why I joined Teach For America and decided to spend these next two years in Houston.
I really love my job. I still don't technically have kids enrolled in the Asperger's program. I was promoted to be the Gifted and Talented coordinator in addition to being a Special Ed teacher. My school is paying for me to get my GT credential, which will be very helpful in the future. I am now on the administration team and have been interviewing candidates for the Teacher Assistant position for my classroom. My principal and assistant principal are two amazing women who are such a great resource for me and are teaching me a lot!
So, school is good. I hate Houston and miss having close relationships. I feel very alone here but as of now have coped. I need close relationships down here. I miss Whitman so much and look forward to visiting in October. I decided that I need to distance myself from TFA and all the TFA and teacher drama, I need to get away from teachers and find other people to talk to and get to know. So, I joined the YMCA Master's swim team and have been swimming with several guys that also just graduated from college. They are fast swimmers and are really fun to swim with. Swimming makes me so happy and allows me to escape TFA for at least a little while each week.
In addition, I have been going to St. Martin's Episcopal Church. I really like it. The church is a beautiful cathedral with beautiful music. They have a Sunday night service and a wonderful young adults group. It is hard going alone but is something I am getting used to.
Last weekend I went to San Antonio for the day. I went to Sea World and saw the orca show. I don't know how many of you know how much Free Willy changed my life and how obsessed with whales I was when I was younger (possibly still?) but this show was amazing. I had a blast!!! I was able to pet dolphins and see belugas and seals and sea lions too! I could live there! After Sea World I spent some time on the San Antonio river walk and briefly saw the Alamo, I definitely want to go back.
Well, sorry this was so long. Please leave messages or email me, I love you all and miss you terribly.
Much love,
Robert
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
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2 comments:
Robert that story makes me teary! But it truly is evidence that your talents are so uniquely suited for the job your are doing down there. You have such an opportunity to impact the lives of kids who are ignored both at home and by the educational system. How lucky they are to have a friend in you! I'm so proud of all you've accomplished so far, friend!
Hi Robert,
Sounds like you are having some challenging but good experiences in working with the kids there! I am familiar with some of the traits you mentioned about aspergers. That is neat you got to visit San Antonio - I like the river walk area. Take care and let me know if you ever need any resources for autsim/aspergers for your kids!! - Dawn :-)
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