The New Year

Happy New Year to all! I had an amazing trip home for two full weeks and discovered that a big perk to being a teacher is the extended breaks. I had a fabulous time at home and was able to see a lot of people, some who I hadn't seen in years including my best friend from high school, Stephen, who just got back from his LDS mission in Las Vegas. I was super lazy over break and caught up on 7 months of sleep. It was great seeing everyone and catching up on lost time. I realize just how special Portland is. It was funny driving down I-5 and feeling like I was on some country road. The hills and mountains were beautiful and the Christmas day snowfall was breathtaking.

I am back in Houston now and just finishing up my first week back at school. I felt a little more content coming back than I would have thought as I was leaving. I wasn't dreading it as much as I thought I would. I was really jet lagged, something, despite a lot of travel, I have never really felt before. It was terribly hard getting back into the routine of waking up really early and being awake by the time the kids came. However, today I woke up at 5:30 more ready and alert.

I am working on finding someone to take my lease over and move out. I realize that a large part of my distaste for Houston stems from my living situation. I am not happy. I don't like being surrounded by 44 other first year teachers who all have a worst story than the next person. I hope that getting away from the negativity and getting away from the awkwardness in my apartment will help me be a happier person. I am looking at several places to move-in to, all much cheaper than the apartment I am currently in, this will be a blessing!

Well, the kids are finishing up their exams, better get back to them. Much love to you all and thank you so much for spending time with me in Portland.

Robert

My roommates decided to decorate the house in Christmas beauty... great, right?! It would have been nice if I not only was included in the festivities of the decorating party, but if I too, got a stocking. There are 5 stockings hanging from the walls, one for each of my roommates and one for two different friends of theirs plus! one for my foster dog... but they failed to include me which is hurtful every time I look up at the wall. This isn't the first time I have been secluded from their activities... there are often nice dinner parties at my house without me being invited or included. It is really upsetting to me but I am too nice to say something... I don't like the unnecessary conflict. Am I wrong to be upset? Their reason, I am sure, was that I wasn't around to do the Christmas shopping with them... but, I didn't know they were going nor was I contacted to ask if I wanted to go. This just adds to my loneliness in this city.

Crockett is amazing, he is fun to have around... but, I am going to have to give him up to an adoptive family. He deserve to have a very happy life with a loving family. He is one of the sweetest dogs I have ever met, similar to my most favorite dogs, Rosie and Sadie.

No word on my job change, I am keeping my mouth shut until the time comes for the change...

Meet Crocket! Crocket came to me yesterday after being rescued from the streets in Waco, Texas. He is 1.5-2 yrs old. He is unbelievably sweet and very timid. He is trying to get to know me and my housemates despite his shyness. He's very soft with a beautiful coat. He is slowly warming up to me... as I sit in my chair at my computer, he came up to me and lied down by my feet. This is good for him as yesterday all he wanted was to be in his crate with a pillow. He is up for adoption so once a home is found for him, I will relinquish him to a permanent home. For now, I am really enjoying him!

Pictures

These pictures are of a few of my swimmers, Christy (girl's head coach), Tommy (Boy's head coach), and me and then various pictures of my 4th graders in my classroom.

a companion?

Some days are good and some days are so bad. I am trying to ignore what happened today so I won't dwell on it until I know for certain (the gist is that my position is no longer Asperger's, but now it is potentially going to be low functioning autism/potentially Mental Retardation which will take me away from my current 4th grade students, but enough of that until it becomes a reality, i am in denial, seriously, i am REALLY upset.) For now, I am in love with my 4th grade students... they are growing so much. They are challenging, stubborn, and difficult but are truly becoming scholars and are invested in the culture of scholarliness and being college bound which I have tried to build my classroom on. I really like them a lot. I have had them for 2 months now and have seen huge gains in them as they begin to realize that they are smart and capable of thinking critically and working hard.

However, this doesn't solve how much I dislike being here. I feel so lonely. I am going to start fostering golden retrievers where I would get to take in a golden from the golden rescue shelter and foster them until adopted parents are found. For example, next week I will get a 2 yr old girl for one week before she is adopted by a family in OK that can't pick her up until the following weekend. I believe that having a dog around will help solve my loneliness. I will potentially be able to bring my dog to school as long as I get all my parents to sign a permission slip. In addition, it will be nice to have something to keep me company and to take on my runs at memorial park. This is happiness in my life.

I had a great Thanksgiving with Kendi coming to visit. It was nice having someone that I care about, down here. We are not dating anymore which has made things challenging. However, having her down here made Houston totally different and somewhat enjoyable. We went to my new friend Christy's house for Thanksgiving. I coach with Christy (she coaches the girl's high school team that we swim with). She is awesome. Her husband is in a gastro medical fellowship at Baylor School of Medicine here in Houston. They are an amazing couple and are really fun. I have been able to go out with them a few times and enjoy hanging out with them. I hope I can continue this friendship because it is beginning to make Houston a little less lonely.

I am so excited to come home and see friends and family. I want to be there so badly, three weeks from tomorrow!!!

wasting time in class

I am sitting in my class, yes, i am a bad student because i am on my laptop doing anything but watching this darn video that was made in the 1980's about teaching kindergarten. I am trying to stay awake and this helps!

So my car had more damage than I had originally thought. Not only do they have to replace both bumpers, but also the undercarriage of the car and possibly the gas tank and fix the alignment. It will cost several thousand dollars so I am glad I turned it over to insurance. I am still trying to figure out how to come up with $500 to cover the deductable, I have a week or more to figure it out as it will take a while to fix the car. There is a lot of those short term loan places or cash fast stores that I am thinking I can go to for the help. I really don't understand why I have to pay the deductable when the accident wasn't at all my fault. Houston has a really big problem with debris on the freeways. The other day I passed a ladder in the middle of the interstate.

I went to a conference today on teaching the gifted and talented. The conference, The Texas Annual Gifted and Talented Conference, was actually really interesting. It was surreal to be in a convention center with thousands of Texas teachers! I was one of the VERY few men in the entire 20,000+ person conference. I am going again tomorrow and have been learning some really cool strategies that I can use with my students once the state assessment is over (March). We aren't really allowed to do anything but test prep until the state test.

As many of you know, I have been coaching St. Thomas High School swimming and am having a great time doing it. Unfortunately, yesterday I found out, after working 80+ hours, I won't be getting paid for any of it. This is a huge bummer but I am willing to continue volunteering. I am too attached to the kids and the program and coaching does bring me joy. It just kind of stinks because I turned down 3 other coaching jobs that paid between $2,500-3,000 in order to coach for this team because I liked the school and liked the head coach. Oh well!

Ok, I am going to catch up on CNN. Much love guys, thanks for your love and support!

The Low?

Life is just crazy. This past week has been unbelievably hard for many reasons. As a result, my hair is falling out in clumps (literally) and my eye won't stop twitching. I have been sleeping horribly, waking up in near panics for no apparent reason. I wake up thinking of students and all that I have to do, yet to do, failed to do, etc. I feel so much pressure and stress and I really can't pin point what it is exactly. Perhaps it is that I need consistency, I need a set group of kids that I get everyday so I won't get pulled to substitute. They gave me the core group of 4th graders about 7 weeks ago but I still keep getting pulled to substitute and do other obnoxious things... the worst of it is substituting, I HATE it. Last week I subbed for what is notoriously known as the worst class at Gallegos. The behavior in the class was so bad while I was subbing that I was humiliated when my principal came in for two hours to monitor/help with behavior. It was embarrassing that she had to come in and stay that long because I couldn't control them. I failed that day and disappointed her.

Today caps off the worst of the week-long slump. I had to go deliver some standardized tests to the testing center on the other side of Houston. On my way, a semi-truck in front of me flew a GIANT piece of shredded tire right into my car. I drove over it and saw my life flash in front of me. I didn't swerve to miss it (thank God, I would have crashed into the car next to me as this was in rush hour). The shredded piece of tire tore off the undercarriage of my car and ruined both bumpers on both ends. I was able to drive my car to my apartment as I was only a mile away. I called Geico and found out I have to pay a $500 deductible!!!! My worry prior to this was how the heck I am going to pay $500 to fly home, I am already not able to fly home for Thanksgiving (another low). And! I had to waste half a vacation day to deal with all of this. My insurance provides rental car coverage up to $25 a day. However, Enterprise (who Geico uses) only had a $40 a day ginormous who-know-how-many-tons truck available. So, I had no choice but to elect to rent this beast of a stupid vehicle and pay the extra money. I hate the truck. My car got towed and tomorrow I will find out how much it is going to cost. I am really stressed and worried. I am sick of Houston, sick of not having any sort of consistency at school, and sick of being so broke. Teach For America was not honest with me about the first year teaching salary. They told me I would be making $42,000. But they forgot to tell me that I would also have to pay nearly $7000 in course fees to pay for this alternative certification program. They should have told me that, prior to me choosing to live where I am living (which I don't like but I won't burden this blog with that). Living on $1800 a month is a lot harder than I had imagined!

So, life goes, some weeks are good and some weeks are just sooooo bad. I am really looking forward to coming home for Christmas and being around people that I love. I miss having relationships in my life and people around me that I really care for and love.