wasting time in class

I am sitting in my class, yes, i am a bad student because i am on my laptop doing anything but watching this darn video that was made in the 1980's about teaching kindergarten. I am trying to stay awake and this helps!

So my car had more damage than I had originally thought. Not only do they have to replace both bumpers, but also the undercarriage of the car and possibly the gas tank and fix the alignment. It will cost several thousand dollars so I am glad I turned it over to insurance. I am still trying to figure out how to come up with $500 to cover the deductable, I have a week or more to figure it out as it will take a while to fix the car. There is a lot of those short term loan places or cash fast stores that I am thinking I can go to for the help. I really don't understand why I have to pay the deductable when the accident wasn't at all my fault. Houston has a really big problem with debris on the freeways. The other day I passed a ladder in the middle of the interstate.

I went to a conference today on teaching the gifted and talented. The conference, The Texas Annual Gifted and Talented Conference, was actually really interesting. It was surreal to be in a convention center with thousands of Texas teachers! I was one of the VERY few men in the entire 20,000+ person conference. I am going again tomorrow and have been learning some really cool strategies that I can use with my students once the state assessment is over (March). We aren't really allowed to do anything but test prep until the state test.

As many of you know, I have been coaching St. Thomas High School swimming and am having a great time doing it. Unfortunately, yesterday I found out, after working 80+ hours, I won't be getting paid for any of it. This is a huge bummer but I am willing to continue volunteering. I am too attached to the kids and the program and coaching does bring me joy. It just kind of stinks because I turned down 3 other coaching jobs that paid between $2,500-3,000 in order to coach for this team because I liked the school and liked the head coach. Oh well!

Ok, I am going to catch up on CNN. Much love guys, thanks for your love and support!

The Low?

Life is just crazy. This past week has been unbelievably hard for many reasons. As a result, my hair is falling out in clumps (literally) and my eye won't stop twitching. I have been sleeping horribly, waking up in near panics for no apparent reason. I wake up thinking of students and all that I have to do, yet to do, failed to do, etc. I feel so much pressure and stress and I really can't pin point what it is exactly. Perhaps it is that I need consistency, I need a set group of kids that I get everyday so I won't get pulled to substitute. They gave me the core group of 4th graders about 7 weeks ago but I still keep getting pulled to substitute and do other obnoxious things... the worst of it is substituting, I HATE it. Last week I subbed for what is notoriously known as the worst class at Gallegos. The behavior in the class was so bad while I was subbing that I was humiliated when my principal came in for two hours to monitor/help with behavior. It was embarrassing that she had to come in and stay that long because I couldn't control them. I failed that day and disappointed her.

Today caps off the worst of the week-long slump. I had to go deliver some standardized tests to the testing center on the other side of Houston. On my way, a semi-truck in front of me flew a GIANT piece of shredded tire right into my car. I drove over it and saw my life flash in front of me. I didn't swerve to miss it (thank God, I would have crashed into the car next to me as this was in rush hour). The shredded piece of tire tore off the undercarriage of my car and ruined both bumpers on both ends. I was able to drive my car to my apartment as I was only a mile away. I called Geico and found out I have to pay a $500 deductible!!!! My worry prior to this was how the heck I am going to pay $500 to fly home, I am already not able to fly home for Thanksgiving (another low). And! I had to waste half a vacation day to deal with all of this. My insurance provides rental car coverage up to $25 a day. However, Enterprise (who Geico uses) only had a $40 a day ginormous who-know-how-many-tons truck available. So, I had no choice but to elect to rent this beast of a stupid vehicle and pay the extra money. I hate the truck. My car got towed and tomorrow I will find out how much it is going to cost. I am really stressed and worried. I am sick of Houston, sick of not having any sort of consistency at school, and sick of being so broke. Teach For America was not honest with me about the first year teaching salary. They told me I would be making $42,000. But they forgot to tell me that I would also have to pay nearly $7000 in course fees to pay for this alternative certification program. They should have told me that, prior to me choosing to live where I am living (which I don't like but I won't burden this blog with that). Living on $1800 a month is a lot harder than I had imagined!

So, life goes, some weeks are good and some weeks are just sooooo bad. I am really looking forward to coming home for Christmas and being around people that I love. I miss having relationships in my life and people around me that I really care for and love.

cooling off!

The humidity has FINALLY resided and it is now 80 degrees and VERY enjoyable, Finally! It is so nice to wake up in the morning to the temperature being in the 50's and getting to wear a coat or a sweatshirt. Life continues to trek on. We just finished our first 9 weeks, so 1/4 of the way through the school year. Time is flying by! I still have my 4th graders who I am growing to really enjoy. It is amazing how attached a teacher can become, they're in my dreams and nightmares while I sleep which is scary! The first thought I wake up with in the morning is usually something about one of my children, yikes!

I am somewhat terrified of the idea that they have to pass the writing state assessment with a 90% this year when last year's 4th graders scored a 40%. This is a climb! In some ways I feel really prepared and in other ways I do not. I don't feel like I am know how to teach writing perfectly, not even close. I am having a hard time teaching my students to find voice in their writing. Also, how to pull things out of their heads and put them on paper, motivating the reluctant writer is so hard!

Coaching swimming has been my highlight down here. I love it. I have a lot more experience than the head coach of my team (and he is a year younger and still a college student) but it doesn't seem to be a problem. He trusts me and allows me to do a lot. Including writing workouts. The guys had their first swimmeet yesterday and swam a ton faster than their times at the same meet a year ago. This Saturday we have an all day invitational. It is wonderful being around swimming and even nicer to be around older students that I can converse with about college, goals, life, news, etc. They're really a bunch of fun.

One of my close fraternity brothers from Whitman is training in Houston this week for his new job in Alaska. It has been wonderful getting to be around a Whittie and someone who I have a relationship with.

I hope all is well at home, looking forward to hearing from you guys!
Robert

Fall Visit to the NW

I am on an airplane coming back from paradise. I just spent 5 days in Walla Walla frolicking in the Walla Walla leaves of many colors and breathing fresh air while drinking delicious water. It was a wonderful trip yet so hard to leave. It was great to see friends and places enjoyed while I was student, but hard as I am headed back to Texas.

I am still having a difficult time enjoying Texas. The city of Houston is just so large and ugly and lacks the crisp air and beauty that the NW spoils its residents with. There are positives; I really enjoy the two nights a week that I get to swim with the Master's team. I enjoy coaching swimming at St. Thomas High School (a privileged all boys Catholic school). I also enjoy working with my scholars despite how it exhausting it can be.

I am temporarily teaching 4th grade Reading and Writing in a bilingual classroom. I am not qualified to teach bilingual education, as clearly I am not bilingual. My principal decided to break the two bilingual classes in half based on their English proficiency level. So, I have the advanced English speakers and for the most part they can understand me and it works. However, there is a lot of work to be done to prepare them for the writing state assessment that they have to take in English in February. My students have not been taught in English before. Because of this, my students' writing is really poor in English. A big task as they HAVE to pass the test for my school's accountability rating and my job!

Last week I took my 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade gifted and talented students to Rice University. I took 20 kids and 8 parents. It was great exposure for them. Most of them had never been to Rice before or the West side of town. I think the college visit inspired my students and helped begin the process of them realizing that they can go to college. One of my little 3rd graders told our tour guide that he would see him in 10 years as a student at Rice. Another girl argued with him saying she was going to Stanford. The best part was a few of them arguing that they are going to go where Mr. Street went and go to Whitman!

I worry about my job sometimes as it could be eliminated. I am being funded by special education dollars and still do not have special education students. I am illegally teaching 4th grade and the gifted and talented job role is not enough to keep me employed. So, if HISD found out that I still did not have kids and was still being funded, they potentially could dissolve my position. I would be switched to another school if that were the case and be hired for a potentially very different special education position... I am not sure that I realistically could handle that.

I love hearing from all of you guys. Happy fall!

Robert

Yes, I am in Texas

I was at spinning class tonight and was reminded that, yes, I am in Texas. For those of you unfamiliar with "spinning" it is a cycling class that lasts about an hour and is in sync with music to get your legs going as one traverses imaginary hills, roads, and high mountains. The first song played tonight was a Christian praise song, cool, I can exercise to this one song. As the songs kept on going, I realized they were all praise songs and yes, I was indeed in the "devotion in motion" hour with my preacher spin instructor. He praised through the whole ride telling us to just let it go and to peddle it out. It all made sense when I remembered I was at the YMCA and that there was a reason for the bilbe that graced the fornt entrance of the doors to the gym. As I spun, the precher/instructor sing alot, liftingt his hands up in the air, I could not believe where I was! Yes, I was reminded that I am in Texas, and in Texas, nothing makes sense!

Today was an interesting day, I taught 4th grade all day. I struggled with a boy who was struggling with the ADHD demon inside him that was uncontrolled due to his running out of medicine at home. I have not ever dealt with a child so crazed and so hard to work with. He could not even write his name on his paper. He understood his behavior and I believe was frustrated. I sincerely believe he could not help what he was doing. It made class VERY hard and caused a good majority of the class to be off task and unable to work.

I gave a presentation to my colleagues today on the Gifted and Talented program at Gallegos, I received great feedback but was nervous as hell giving it. There are some who think I am too inexperienced to be doing what I am doing and others upset that I don't technically have my own classroom... time, time will show I am capable and have the heart and passion to do everything I can so that our kids with amazing minds can see the reality of a college education. I am attaching photos of my classroom.

Much love!
Robert

I was at spinning class tonight and reminded that, yes, I am in Texas. For those of you unfamilar with "spinning" it is cycling class that last about an hour and is insync with music to get your legs going as one traverses imaginary hills, roads, and high mountains. The first song played tonight was a Christian praise song, cool, I can excercise to this one song. As the songs kept on going, I realized they were all praise songs and yes, I was indeed in the "devotion in motion" hour with my preacher spin instructor. He praised through the whole ride telling us to just let it go and to peddle it out. Yes, I was reminded that I am in Texas and in Texas, nothing makes sense.

Today was an interesting day, I taught 4th grade all day. I struggled with a boy who was stuggling with the ADHD demon inside him that was uncontrolled due to running out of medicine. I have not ever dealt with a child so crazed and so hard to work with. He could not even write his name on his paper. He understood his behavior and I believe was frustrated, and for a lot of it, I sincerely believe he could not help what he was doing. It made class VERY hard and caused a good majority of the class to be off task and unable to work.

I gave a presentation to my colleagues today on the Gifted and Talented program at Gallegos, I received great feedback but was nervous as hell giving it. There are some who think I am too inexperienced to be doing what I am doing and others upset that I don't technically have my own classroom... time, time will show I am capable and have the heart and passion to do everything I can so that our kids with amazing minds can see the reality of a college education. I am attaching photos of my classroom.

Much love!
Robert

I guess a lot has happened!

I have wanted to write for quite awhile now, but every time I sit down to do so, there is not much to say. But, I guess there is. Let me begin with yesterday. After delivering some Intelligence tests to be scored at the district office, I arrived back at school mid afternoon to my principal sitting in a chair next to a 4th grade student who I will call John. She was clearly very upset with this boy and as I walked in the office, I said hello to my principal and she replies with, I am so glad to see you. She continues by telling me all about this students who is sitting in the office and the horrible horrible behavior he exhibited in his classroom pervious to my arrival. He had a substitute African American teacher who he called the "n" word to and said many other profanities out loud in class. He was sent to the office. He had received a referral the week prior and now needed to be suspended. My principal, who has a lot of experience working with Asperger's students from her previous school, told me he acted just the way they did. I don't know if he has Asperger's nor does she but he was showing similar behavior traits, but I will not make an assumption so for now, I will continue with him being unlabeled. Anyway, as my principal was explaining his behavior to me and he was sitting there spaced out looking to the ceiling, I could not help by well up in tears, I have no idea why, but I got really emotional. My principal asked me to take this boy back to my room until his mother could pick him up.

I took John back to my class. I spoke to him about his behavior and how it was affecting others. He told me about his family, his 8 siblings, his divorced parents, his mother who is taking care of his dying grandmother and raising 8 kids at the same time, and his abusive 12 year old brother that hits John and is verbally abusive. A lot for this 8 year old. I told him that his behavior toward his substitute caused a similar feeling for the substitute just as when John's 12 year older brother is verbally abusive to him. He began to cry. I think he realized how much his actions hurt the substitute and the people in his class. I asked him what the problem was--he replied with, "the classroom had a new teacher and there was too much change" and "the class was too noisy he could not work". (these traits are classic Asperger's as students with this condition cannot handle change in routine nor loud over stimulating noises). John also explained that he has no friends and that people are mean to him. But, I explained, he needs to be nice to people for people to be nice to him (he is known for telling kids off and being really rude)


So, John and I talked. I told him that his behavior needs to change and that it is unacceptable. I told him I was here for him; I asked him what I could do for him. He told me he wanted me to be his friend, so we are friends now. I am hoping that I can help him change his behavior and learn coping strategies for loud noises, change in routine, how to make friends. His mother never came to pick him up so John and I read a book about whales. While we read I played him some whale sounds from a cd I have so he could hear what they sound like. After the story he wrote a paragraph about whales and what he learned. Then he did some math and showed me his 4th grade math skills.

John validates why I joined Teach For America and decided to spend these next two years in Houston.

I really love my job. I still don't technically have kids enrolled in the Asperger's program. I was promoted to be the Gifted and Talented coordinator in addition to being a Special Ed teacher. My school is paying for me to get my GT credential, which will be very helpful in the future. I am now on the administration team and have been interviewing candidates for the Teacher Assistant position for my classroom. My principal and assistant principal are two amazing women who are such a great resource for me and are teaching me a lot!

So, school is good. I hate Houston and miss having close relationships. I feel very alone here but as of now have coped. I need close relationships down here. I miss Whitman so much and look forward to visiting in October. I decided that I need to distance myself from TFA and all the TFA and teacher drama, I need to get away from teachers and find other people to talk to and get to know. So, I joined the YMCA Master's swim team and have been swimming with several guys that also just graduated from college. They are fast swimmers and are really fun to swim with. Swimming makes me so happy and allows me to escape TFA for at least a little while each week.

In addition, I have been going to St. Martin's Episcopal Church. I really like it. The church is a beautiful cathedral with beautiful music. They have a Sunday night service and a wonderful young adults group. It is hard going alone but is something I am getting used to.

Last weekend I went to San Antonio for the day. I went to Sea World and saw the orca show. I don't know how many of you know how much Free Willy changed my life and how obsessed with whales I was when I was younger (possibly still?) but this show was amazing. I had a blast!!! I was able to pet dolphins and see belugas and seals and sea lions too! I could live there! After Sea World I spent some time on the San Antonio river walk and briefly saw the Alamo, I definitely want to go back.

Well, sorry this was so long. Please leave messages or email me, I love you all and miss you terribly.

Much love,
Robert