My roommates decided to decorate the house in Christmas beauty... great, right?! It would have been nice if I not only was included in the festivities of the decorating party, but if I too, got a stocking. There are 5 stockings hanging from the walls, one for each of my roommates and one for two different friends of theirs plus! one for my foster dog... but they failed to include me which is hurtful every time I look up at the wall. This isn't the first time I have been secluded from their activities... there are often nice dinner parties at my house without me being invited or included. It is really upsetting to me but I am too nice to say something... I don't like the unnecessary conflict. Am I wrong to be upset? Their reason, I am sure, was that I wasn't around to do the Christmas shopping with them... but, I didn't know they were going nor was I contacted to ask if I wanted to go. This just adds to my loneliness in this city.

Crockett is amazing, he is fun to have around... but, I am going to have to give him up to an adoptive family. He deserve to have a very happy life with a loving family. He is one of the sweetest dogs I have ever met, similar to my most favorite dogs, Rosie and Sadie.

No word on my job change, I am keeping my mouth shut until the time comes for the change...

Meet Crocket! Crocket came to me yesterday after being rescued from the streets in Waco, Texas. He is 1.5-2 yrs old. He is unbelievably sweet and very timid. He is trying to get to know me and my housemates despite his shyness. He's very soft with a beautiful coat. He is slowly warming up to me... as I sit in my chair at my computer, he came up to me and lied down by my feet. This is good for him as yesterday all he wanted was to be in his crate with a pillow. He is up for adoption so once a home is found for him, I will relinquish him to a permanent home. For now, I am really enjoying him!

Pictures

These pictures are of a few of my swimmers, Christy (girl's head coach), Tommy (Boy's head coach), and me and then various pictures of my 4th graders in my classroom.

a companion?

Some days are good and some days are so bad. I am trying to ignore what happened today so I won't dwell on it until I know for certain (the gist is that my position is no longer Asperger's, but now it is potentially going to be low functioning autism/potentially Mental Retardation which will take me away from my current 4th grade students, but enough of that until it becomes a reality, i am in denial, seriously, i am REALLY upset.) For now, I am in love with my 4th grade students... they are growing so much. They are challenging, stubborn, and difficult but are truly becoming scholars and are invested in the culture of scholarliness and being college bound which I have tried to build my classroom on. I really like them a lot. I have had them for 2 months now and have seen huge gains in them as they begin to realize that they are smart and capable of thinking critically and working hard.

However, this doesn't solve how much I dislike being here. I feel so lonely. I am going to start fostering golden retrievers where I would get to take in a golden from the golden rescue shelter and foster them until adopted parents are found. For example, next week I will get a 2 yr old girl for one week before she is adopted by a family in OK that can't pick her up until the following weekend. I believe that having a dog around will help solve my loneliness. I will potentially be able to bring my dog to school as long as I get all my parents to sign a permission slip. In addition, it will be nice to have something to keep me company and to take on my runs at memorial park. This is happiness in my life.

I had a great Thanksgiving with Kendi coming to visit. It was nice having someone that I care about, down here. We are not dating anymore which has made things challenging. However, having her down here made Houston totally different and somewhat enjoyable. We went to my new friend Christy's house for Thanksgiving. I coach with Christy (she coaches the girl's high school team that we swim with). She is awesome. Her husband is in a gastro medical fellowship at Baylor School of Medicine here in Houston. They are an amazing couple and are really fun. I have been able to go out with them a few times and enjoy hanging out with them. I hope I can continue this friendship because it is beginning to make Houston a little less lonely.

I am so excited to come home and see friends and family. I want to be there so badly, three weeks from tomorrow!!!

wasting time in class

I am sitting in my class, yes, i am a bad student because i am on my laptop doing anything but watching this darn video that was made in the 1980's about teaching kindergarten. I am trying to stay awake and this helps!

So my car had more damage than I had originally thought. Not only do they have to replace both bumpers, but also the undercarriage of the car and possibly the gas tank and fix the alignment. It will cost several thousand dollars so I am glad I turned it over to insurance. I am still trying to figure out how to come up with $500 to cover the deductable, I have a week or more to figure it out as it will take a while to fix the car. There is a lot of those short term loan places or cash fast stores that I am thinking I can go to for the help. I really don't understand why I have to pay the deductable when the accident wasn't at all my fault. Houston has a really big problem with debris on the freeways. The other day I passed a ladder in the middle of the interstate.

I went to a conference today on teaching the gifted and talented. The conference, The Texas Annual Gifted and Talented Conference, was actually really interesting. It was surreal to be in a convention center with thousands of Texas teachers! I was one of the VERY few men in the entire 20,000+ person conference. I am going again tomorrow and have been learning some really cool strategies that I can use with my students once the state assessment is over (March). We aren't really allowed to do anything but test prep until the state test.

As many of you know, I have been coaching St. Thomas High School swimming and am having a great time doing it. Unfortunately, yesterday I found out, after working 80+ hours, I won't be getting paid for any of it. This is a huge bummer but I am willing to continue volunteering. I am too attached to the kids and the program and coaching does bring me joy. It just kind of stinks because I turned down 3 other coaching jobs that paid between $2,500-3,000 in order to coach for this team because I liked the school and liked the head coach. Oh well!

Ok, I am going to catch up on CNN. Much love guys, thanks for your love and support!

The Low?

Life is just crazy. This past week has been unbelievably hard for many reasons. As a result, my hair is falling out in clumps (literally) and my eye won't stop twitching. I have been sleeping horribly, waking up in near panics for no apparent reason. I wake up thinking of students and all that I have to do, yet to do, failed to do, etc. I feel so much pressure and stress and I really can't pin point what it is exactly. Perhaps it is that I need consistency, I need a set group of kids that I get everyday so I won't get pulled to substitute. They gave me the core group of 4th graders about 7 weeks ago but I still keep getting pulled to substitute and do other obnoxious things... the worst of it is substituting, I HATE it. Last week I subbed for what is notoriously known as the worst class at Gallegos. The behavior in the class was so bad while I was subbing that I was humiliated when my principal came in for two hours to monitor/help with behavior. It was embarrassing that she had to come in and stay that long because I couldn't control them. I failed that day and disappointed her.

Today caps off the worst of the week-long slump. I had to go deliver some standardized tests to the testing center on the other side of Houston. On my way, a semi-truck in front of me flew a GIANT piece of shredded tire right into my car. I drove over it and saw my life flash in front of me. I didn't swerve to miss it (thank God, I would have crashed into the car next to me as this was in rush hour). The shredded piece of tire tore off the undercarriage of my car and ruined both bumpers on both ends. I was able to drive my car to my apartment as I was only a mile away. I called Geico and found out I have to pay a $500 deductible!!!! My worry prior to this was how the heck I am going to pay $500 to fly home, I am already not able to fly home for Thanksgiving (another low). And! I had to waste half a vacation day to deal with all of this. My insurance provides rental car coverage up to $25 a day. However, Enterprise (who Geico uses) only had a $40 a day ginormous who-know-how-many-tons truck available. So, I had no choice but to elect to rent this beast of a stupid vehicle and pay the extra money. I hate the truck. My car got towed and tomorrow I will find out how much it is going to cost. I am really stressed and worried. I am sick of Houston, sick of not having any sort of consistency at school, and sick of being so broke. Teach For America was not honest with me about the first year teaching salary. They told me I would be making $42,000. But they forgot to tell me that I would also have to pay nearly $7000 in course fees to pay for this alternative certification program. They should have told me that, prior to me choosing to live where I am living (which I don't like but I won't burden this blog with that). Living on $1800 a month is a lot harder than I had imagined!

So, life goes, some weeks are good and some weeks are just sooooo bad. I am really looking forward to coming home for Christmas and being around people that I love. I miss having relationships in my life and people around me that I really care for and love.

cooling off!

The humidity has FINALLY resided and it is now 80 degrees and VERY enjoyable, Finally! It is so nice to wake up in the morning to the temperature being in the 50's and getting to wear a coat or a sweatshirt. Life continues to trek on. We just finished our first 9 weeks, so 1/4 of the way through the school year. Time is flying by! I still have my 4th graders who I am growing to really enjoy. It is amazing how attached a teacher can become, they're in my dreams and nightmares while I sleep which is scary! The first thought I wake up with in the morning is usually something about one of my children, yikes!

I am somewhat terrified of the idea that they have to pass the writing state assessment with a 90% this year when last year's 4th graders scored a 40%. This is a climb! In some ways I feel really prepared and in other ways I do not. I don't feel like I am know how to teach writing perfectly, not even close. I am having a hard time teaching my students to find voice in their writing. Also, how to pull things out of their heads and put them on paper, motivating the reluctant writer is so hard!

Coaching swimming has been my highlight down here. I love it. I have a lot more experience than the head coach of my team (and he is a year younger and still a college student) but it doesn't seem to be a problem. He trusts me and allows me to do a lot. Including writing workouts. The guys had their first swimmeet yesterday and swam a ton faster than their times at the same meet a year ago. This Saturday we have an all day invitational. It is wonderful being around swimming and even nicer to be around older students that I can converse with about college, goals, life, news, etc. They're really a bunch of fun.

One of my close fraternity brothers from Whitman is training in Houston this week for his new job in Alaska. It has been wonderful getting to be around a Whittie and someone who I have a relationship with.

I hope all is well at home, looking forward to hearing from you guys!
Robert

Fall Visit to the NW

I am on an airplane coming back from paradise. I just spent 5 days in Walla Walla frolicking in the Walla Walla leaves of many colors and breathing fresh air while drinking delicious water. It was a wonderful trip yet so hard to leave. It was great to see friends and places enjoyed while I was student, but hard as I am headed back to Texas.

I am still having a difficult time enjoying Texas. The city of Houston is just so large and ugly and lacks the crisp air and beauty that the NW spoils its residents with. There are positives; I really enjoy the two nights a week that I get to swim with the Master's team. I enjoy coaching swimming at St. Thomas High School (a privileged all boys Catholic school). I also enjoy working with my scholars despite how it exhausting it can be.

I am temporarily teaching 4th grade Reading and Writing in a bilingual classroom. I am not qualified to teach bilingual education, as clearly I am not bilingual. My principal decided to break the two bilingual classes in half based on their English proficiency level. So, I have the advanced English speakers and for the most part they can understand me and it works. However, there is a lot of work to be done to prepare them for the writing state assessment that they have to take in English in February. My students have not been taught in English before. Because of this, my students' writing is really poor in English. A big task as they HAVE to pass the test for my school's accountability rating and my job!

Last week I took my 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade gifted and talented students to Rice University. I took 20 kids and 8 parents. It was great exposure for them. Most of them had never been to Rice before or the West side of town. I think the college visit inspired my students and helped begin the process of them realizing that they can go to college. One of my little 3rd graders told our tour guide that he would see him in 10 years as a student at Rice. Another girl argued with him saying she was going to Stanford. The best part was a few of them arguing that they are going to go where Mr. Street went and go to Whitman!

I worry about my job sometimes as it could be eliminated. I am being funded by special education dollars and still do not have special education students. I am illegally teaching 4th grade and the gifted and talented job role is not enough to keep me employed. So, if HISD found out that I still did not have kids and was still being funded, they potentially could dissolve my position. I would be switched to another school if that were the case and be hired for a potentially very different special education position... I am not sure that I realistically could handle that.

I love hearing from all of you guys. Happy fall!

Robert

Yes, I am in Texas

I was at spinning class tonight and was reminded that, yes, I am in Texas. For those of you unfamiliar with "spinning" it is a cycling class that lasts about an hour and is in sync with music to get your legs going as one traverses imaginary hills, roads, and high mountains. The first song played tonight was a Christian praise song, cool, I can exercise to this one song. As the songs kept on going, I realized they were all praise songs and yes, I was indeed in the "devotion in motion" hour with my preacher spin instructor. He praised through the whole ride telling us to just let it go and to peddle it out. It all made sense when I remembered I was at the YMCA and that there was a reason for the bilbe that graced the fornt entrance of the doors to the gym. As I spun, the precher/instructor sing alot, liftingt his hands up in the air, I could not believe where I was! Yes, I was reminded that I am in Texas, and in Texas, nothing makes sense!

Today was an interesting day, I taught 4th grade all day. I struggled with a boy who was struggling with the ADHD demon inside him that was uncontrolled due to his running out of medicine at home. I have not ever dealt with a child so crazed and so hard to work with. He could not even write his name on his paper. He understood his behavior and I believe was frustrated. I sincerely believe he could not help what he was doing. It made class VERY hard and caused a good majority of the class to be off task and unable to work.

I gave a presentation to my colleagues today on the Gifted and Talented program at Gallegos, I received great feedback but was nervous as hell giving it. There are some who think I am too inexperienced to be doing what I am doing and others upset that I don't technically have my own classroom... time, time will show I am capable and have the heart and passion to do everything I can so that our kids with amazing minds can see the reality of a college education. I am attaching photos of my classroom.

Much love!
Robert

I was at spinning class tonight and reminded that, yes, I am in Texas. For those of you unfamilar with "spinning" it is cycling class that last about an hour and is insync with music to get your legs going as one traverses imaginary hills, roads, and high mountains. The first song played tonight was a Christian praise song, cool, I can excercise to this one song. As the songs kept on going, I realized they were all praise songs and yes, I was indeed in the "devotion in motion" hour with my preacher spin instructor. He praised through the whole ride telling us to just let it go and to peddle it out. Yes, I was reminded that I am in Texas and in Texas, nothing makes sense.

Today was an interesting day, I taught 4th grade all day. I struggled with a boy who was stuggling with the ADHD demon inside him that was uncontrolled due to running out of medicine. I have not ever dealt with a child so crazed and so hard to work with. He could not even write his name on his paper. He understood his behavior and I believe was frustrated, and for a lot of it, I sincerely believe he could not help what he was doing. It made class VERY hard and caused a good majority of the class to be off task and unable to work.

I gave a presentation to my colleagues today on the Gifted and Talented program at Gallegos, I received great feedback but was nervous as hell giving it. There are some who think I am too inexperienced to be doing what I am doing and others upset that I don't technically have my own classroom... time, time will show I am capable and have the heart and passion to do everything I can so that our kids with amazing minds can see the reality of a college education. I am attaching photos of my classroom.

Much love!
Robert

I guess a lot has happened!

I have wanted to write for quite awhile now, but every time I sit down to do so, there is not much to say. But, I guess there is. Let me begin with yesterday. After delivering some Intelligence tests to be scored at the district office, I arrived back at school mid afternoon to my principal sitting in a chair next to a 4th grade student who I will call John. She was clearly very upset with this boy and as I walked in the office, I said hello to my principal and she replies with, I am so glad to see you. She continues by telling me all about this students who is sitting in the office and the horrible horrible behavior he exhibited in his classroom pervious to my arrival. He had a substitute African American teacher who he called the "n" word to and said many other profanities out loud in class. He was sent to the office. He had received a referral the week prior and now needed to be suspended. My principal, who has a lot of experience working with Asperger's students from her previous school, told me he acted just the way they did. I don't know if he has Asperger's nor does she but he was showing similar behavior traits, but I will not make an assumption so for now, I will continue with him being unlabeled. Anyway, as my principal was explaining his behavior to me and he was sitting there spaced out looking to the ceiling, I could not help by well up in tears, I have no idea why, but I got really emotional. My principal asked me to take this boy back to my room until his mother could pick him up.

I took John back to my class. I spoke to him about his behavior and how it was affecting others. He told me about his family, his 8 siblings, his divorced parents, his mother who is taking care of his dying grandmother and raising 8 kids at the same time, and his abusive 12 year old brother that hits John and is verbally abusive. A lot for this 8 year old. I told him that his behavior toward his substitute caused a similar feeling for the substitute just as when John's 12 year older brother is verbally abusive to him. He began to cry. I think he realized how much his actions hurt the substitute and the people in his class. I asked him what the problem was--he replied with, "the classroom had a new teacher and there was too much change" and "the class was too noisy he could not work". (these traits are classic Asperger's as students with this condition cannot handle change in routine nor loud over stimulating noises). John also explained that he has no friends and that people are mean to him. But, I explained, he needs to be nice to people for people to be nice to him (he is known for telling kids off and being really rude)


So, John and I talked. I told him that his behavior needs to change and that it is unacceptable. I told him I was here for him; I asked him what I could do for him. He told me he wanted me to be his friend, so we are friends now. I am hoping that I can help him change his behavior and learn coping strategies for loud noises, change in routine, how to make friends. His mother never came to pick him up so John and I read a book about whales. While we read I played him some whale sounds from a cd I have so he could hear what they sound like. After the story he wrote a paragraph about whales and what he learned. Then he did some math and showed me his 4th grade math skills.

John validates why I joined Teach For America and decided to spend these next two years in Houston.

I really love my job. I still don't technically have kids enrolled in the Asperger's program. I was promoted to be the Gifted and Talented coordinator in addition to being a Special Ed teacher. My school is paying for me to get my GT credential, which will be very helpful in the future. I am now on the administration team and have been interviewing candidates for the Teacher Assistant position for my classroom. My principal and assistant principal are two amazing women who are such a great resource for me and are teaching me a lot!

So, school is good. I hate Houston and miss having close relationships. I feel very alone here but as of now have coped. I need close relationships down here. I miss Whitman so much and look forward to visiting in October. I decided that I need to distance myself from TFA and all the TFA and teacher drama, I need to get away from teachers and find other people to talk to and get to know. So, I joined the YMCA Master's swim team and have been swimming with several guys that also just graduated from college. They are fast swimmers and are really fun to swim with. Swimming makes me so happy and allows me to escape TFA for at least a little while each week.

In addition, I have been going to St. Martin's Episcopal Church. I really like it. The church is a beautiful cathedral with beautiful music. They have a Sunday night service and a wonderful young adults group. It is hard going alone but is something I am getting used to.

Last weekend I went to San Antonio for the day. I went to Sea World and saw the orca show. I don't know how many of you know how much Free Willy changed my life and how obsessed with whales I was when I was younger (possibly still?) but this show was amazing. I had a blast!!! I was able to pet dolphins and see belugas and seals and sea lions too! I could live there! After Sea World I spent some time on the San Antonio river walk and briefly saw the Alamo, I definitely want to go back.

Well, sorry this was so long. Please leave messages or email me, I love you all and miss you terribly.

Much love,
Robert

2nd day of school

Today was the second day of school, I am so tired! I am having a blast as I am going through this adventure. As you all know, my placement is a Special Ed teacher working with Asperger's students... but i don't have kids in my program yet. Sooooo, I have been temporarily placed in kindergarten to co-teach in a classroom with 27 kids. It has been CRAZY. First, the teacher I am co-teaching with (she is the one in charge of lesson plans, management, etc as it is her regular classroom) does not have the greatest of management skills nor has any sort of organization. So, the room is really hectic and I am afraid to take too much control since its not my room, although I did today as I had to teach for the afternoon, more on that in a second.

Today was insane. I cleaned up vomit, had a kid spit on me, and dealt with 4 kids with the worst behavior I have ever witnessed in children, one of which has fetal alcohol syndrom and has a chronic behavior problem that is REALLY hard to manage. The highlight today was losing a kid for two hours. I had a meeting today at lunch and when I got back to the kindergarten classroom, the teacher that I am working with informed me that she was missing a kid. I ran to the office and told them. Announcements went over the intercom, all teachers were told to count their kids, and the search went on. We looked all over the school and neighborhood, the police were called, the media was called, and the parents. It was a disaster. Finally, I decided to check every kindergarten class again and personally count the kids myself (after the teachers were told to count the kids three different times)... and alas, I found little Eddie just chilling in the bilingual class (which is funny because he is not in a bilingual class). I took little Eddie to the office where he was welcomed by the whole search crew, including his FREAKED out and EXTREMELY upset parents who decided to scream and yell and punch the walls in the office. I understand their anger, their kid was missing and the teachers did not properly count their students. In addition, the teacher did not even recognize that there was a strange student in her class who was not wearing her classes special name tag. CRAZINESS. After this whole ordeal, I had to teach for the afternoon because my co-teacher was too distraught after losing a kid and getting reprimanded by our principal (oh! and the superintendent was at school today to give my principal her evaluation and review while this all happened!)

So, I am tired. I love kindergarten but would have a hard time doing it for two years. Much love to you all.

We reported to work on Monday, after two days in the classroom in meetings and setting up, things are looking a little better. I am really excited to get my students. Right now, there aren't any students in my program; there won't be any until after the school year starts. So, right now, I am trying to learn as much as possible about Asperger's and the types of students that I will be working with. I have been busy setting up my classroom so that it is conducive to the way students with high functioning autism/asperger's learn the best. My classroom will be a relaxing, peaceful, soft atmosphere which studies show is the atmosphere that these students need. My job is going to be to co-teach with the students' general education teacher as much as possible so that my students are mainstreamed as much as possible. I will only be able to pull my students out a little bit each day to work on social behavior skills, relationship building, etc. I should eventually have 10 or so students whos case loads I will be taking on.

While my classroom is large and in good condition, I do not have a lot of stuff, namely books. If anyone would like to send me books, I would love it! Used books are much appreciated. In addition, I am trying to figure out a way to get a tv for my classroom and a cd player/stereo. Children with autism need soft music in their working environment and learn well from instructional videos that show relationships and good behavior.

I went to Indiana a week ago and had the most wonderful trip ever. I went up to visit Kendi, my girlfriend. We had a wonderful time. We watched senior national swim championships, I watched her bike race (and win all three races!), went to Bloomington, and saw many Greencastle sites. It was so nice being there and seeing her friends and where she grew up. Unfortunately, because of the horrible distance (she is still a student at Whitman), we decided to break up. I flew back to Houston absolutely miserable. The last place I wanted to fly to was Houston, a city I am VERY slowly learning to appreciate. I am slowly getting better but still really sad.

I am in class right now, we have class 3 nights a week from 5:30-8:30 in addition to every other Sunday, this schedule is horrible for a first year teacher, Teach For America does a wonderful job keeping us busy and NOT relaxed.

Roberto

Drivin

We're in Fort Stockton, TX right now, don't worry I had never heard of it either and there's a reason. There is nothing here! We are staying at a hotel along the interstate, mom is currently terrified of cock roaches and trying desperately not to see one... just wait until she gets to Houston. Her first comment upon getting out of the car tonight, was wow, it's muggy! My comment was, man this feels good for Texas... I think Houston will be a shock for her! The journey has been fun. We drove from Portland to the bay area on Monday, left at 3 am and spent 12 hours driving. We arrived around dinnertime just in time for my little cousin Will's graduation from day Care/pre School. I was greeted by the newest addition to our family, little Alexandra Grace. Sasha as she is called (the Russian name for Alexandra) is 5 weeks old and the most beautiful baby girl in the world, she is wonderful; I could not put her down!

We then drove down to LA and spent the night at Erin Farrell's parents house in Redondo Beach. It was nice to see her family again; we were greeted with such amazing hospitality. The following day we spent 13 hours in Disney Land, so much fun! I had never been before! We had a great time. We stayed another night in LA then made the long haul to Albuquerque, NM. The drive was long but worth it. We stayed at Clint's house. We went to dinner with his family, then Clint showed me all around town. I was really impressed with Albuquerque and surprised by its beauty. Today we drove from Clint's to the middle of nowhere Texas. 5 more hours to go...we will make it tomorrow after a stop in San Antonio.

I have a job! I decided that I would be ok teaching special ed. So, I am going to be at Gallegos Elementary working with my housemate Nels. Gallegos is a beautiful school, fairly new and high performing. Gallegos has placed a huge emphasis on technology in the classroom, which will be fun. My position is a special ed resource specialist working with the regions 8-10 children with Ausberger's. I am going to have a lot to learn and will begin training on Monday to learn methods of working with these students. I am excited because I think my patience and personality will be great for the kids and I will enjoy the one on one work I will get to do.

I appreciate the emails and notes; I miss you guys a lot. Much love to you all! Robert

Its over!

Phew, I made it. I am home now and I cannot tell you how good it feels. Despite only being able to be home for less than 36 hours, it still feels amazing. The weather and the fresh air are enough to make me not want to ever leave this place again. However, I leave tomorrow morning to make the long drive to Houston with Mom. I am excited for the opportunity to spend a great amount of time with her. We have fun stops planned, the bay area to see our newest addition to our family, Disney Land, Albuquerque, and finally Houston. We are lucky enough to get to stay with various friends and relatives along the way.

I am so glad TFA institute ended. I am glad I persevered and survived. A lot of people did not and some were even dismissed in the last few days. I made it though! On Friday I could not wipe a smile off my face. Friday we had an open house with the parents. It was really sad to say goodbye to the boys and girls we have grown attached to. It is hard to realize that they will be out of school for month. School for a lot of these kids is the best thing for them, staying at home during the day is often a really unhealthy environment. School is safe. My kids saw so much improvement, 96% of them met their summer growth goal and all of them improved dramatically on their English speaking and listening skills. I will miss them so much!

Looking back on institute I would probably say it is the hardest thing I have ever done and the most tired I have ever been. I am so glad I stayed with it though and got through the rough times. It made me a much stronger person and ready for any challenges that I am about to face.

I had two job interviews this week. Unfortunately, I will not hear until the end of next week if I got either position. Both positions are in the 5th ward, which is the poorest area of Houston with the highest gang activity. I was extremely shocked at the destitute level when I visited the schools and drove through the neighborhoods. It will be an intense experience for sure. Both positions are 4th grade positions. One of them is at a combined elementary and middle school, which could be very interesting. That position is a 4th grade Language Arts/Social Studies position, something ideal for me!

Well, I need to go pack the car. I am so glad to be home and so fortunate to have been able to grow up in this beautiful part of the country!

Much love,
Robert

the final countdown

Four days left and I can hardly wait. I am tired. I am tired of jumping through hurdle after hurdle, I am tired of living in the nastiest cock roach infested dorm known to man, I am tired of trying to do everything right but somehow not ever being able to, and I am tired of living without paychecks and to think I have another 7 weeks until one will arrive! I really want the next four days to fly by. The past 5 weeks have been horrible. It doesn't help that I don't even have a job yet, yeah one is guaranteed but when 80% of the corps has a placement and I don't, it sucks. Teach For America is supposed to be one of the most prestigious programs in the nation and one of the most respected; I am not seeing it yet. I have been somewhat upset with how a lot of things have gone. I need to be out of institute, in my apartment, and in a classroom with my own kids.

The children are the one thing that keep me going. Its intense how closely our collaborative group has bonded with our students. I love my kids and love the progress that each one of them has made. To see them speak English as if they had been learning it their whole lives, to see them master the "th" sound and the clock (today's lesson I taught) is amazing. This summer has shown me that I have an ability to reach the worst behaving students and invest them in the lessons. The other day Jorge and I had a one on one hour where we read his sight words (words that we have in our brains that we know without having to think about it, such as "they") and read Clifford in English. Jorge said "th" words for the first time perfectly and read the whole book...this is a huge feat for a kid who was diagnosed as two grades below grade level in reading and is a complete bully. I left class teary eyed at his progress.

Thank God also for friends and for bonding in adversity. I've become close to some really outstanding people, which makes this whole thing survivable. Joint misery allows for some intense bonding.

I am really excited to go home in a week and drive down here with Mom, I am excited to get away from Houston for a little while and refocus my mind and attention away from this experience and get it ready for fall.

I really miss you guys; I miss the NW so much. I love you all.
Robert

a quick update

ugh, 2 more weeks! I can see the finish line and I can survive.

Getting a Little Better

Life is getting a little better, the more time I am able to spend in my classroom the better my days become. I would much rather be in my classroom than be in Teach For America sessions all day long. It has been amazing to see the growth of my students in just the 7 class periods I have had with them. The English exposure I am providing the students is a great thing for them. Today I overheard two of my boys speaking in English to each other in the lunchroom. It’s the little things that make me really excited. Today, one of my collaborative members told me that a student was telling her all about lakes and oceans because Mr. Street taught her about them, I was jazzed to hear that.

Yesterday they surprised us all with an afternoon off, they called us into the curriculum specialist room (the place where we have the dreaded horribly long TFA classes) and lectured us then told us we were going to spend the rest of the day in horrible sessions that made a few people start to cry. Then they said, just kidding, go home, the busses are waiting! There were so many people that cried when that announcement came. We arrived back to the University of Houston campus to massage tables, food, fun music, games, and beds to fall asleep in (which is what I did). Then most of us went out to happy hour and enjoyed breathing for the first time in awhile. Such a relief!

We get the keys to our apartment on Sunday, very excited about that! It still seems surreal that I signed a lease, have a salary, and have to wear a shirt and tie to work everyday, still feels like dress up.

I love you all, thanks so much for the emails and comments, I can't tell you enough how great it is to hear from friends and family at home.

Much love,
Robert

p.s. the first picture is my friend Cristina and my housemate Nels... Cristina will be living in an apartment above Nels and mine. the next photo is of our 1st grade classroom and the last photo is a cheesy picture of me asking to the kids what flag i was holding and explaining the dreaded "Pledge to the Texas Flag".

New Appreciation for the Weekend

I don't think I have ever enjoyed weekends his much in my life. The anticipation for Friday at 4:00 from Wednesday onward was too intense, when Friday at 4:00 and Teach For America let us leave our schools I was praisin Jesus, as I think we all were. We had a school social, something we do every Friday, at this Mexican restaurant in South Houston. This week was one of the worst weeks I have had as far as being torn down and feeling like I am incapable of doing anything including sleep.

It is insane as to how little people are sleeping and how irritable people are getting, it seems that people's sleep schedule is a long nap right when they get home from school followed by sleep from 3-5 am, people aren't sleeping.

I had my first 30 minute observation on Wednesday by the school director and my advisor, it was intense... the lesson was a good lesson but my classroom management was a little lax. Of course they were only observing my lesson during the opening, intro to new material, and beginning of guided practice, they did not stay to see the end when all but two boys got the objective and could accurately describe a river (this is failure according to the Teach For America rubric of being an effective teacher). According to the feedback I got from TFA, I sucked. Their feedback makes me feel sick. What really bothers me is that I am in this ESL class, all-alone, teaching them! I haven't ever student taught, or had any practice! I am their teacher! By Friday, after 4 lessons with them, I began to feel really good about what they learned as they all scored 100% on the summative exam. One thing about Teach For America, which my cousin Lisa just pointed out, it how heavy they are on data and recording supposed student progress so that students can be tracked. While some of it is ok and can gauge how effective the teacher is, most of it takes away from students and the idea of student centeredness.

I am going to get away from campus today, I borrowed a friend’s car, and I am going to Starbucks to study for an exam that I have tomorrow to be certified in the state of Texas.

I miss you all, I really miss Portland!!!
Robert

The wall

I hit a wall today and really need to get over it soon, so this is my attempt. I am so tired and can't go on with 3 hours of sleep a night. I am feeling so much pressure to do stuff I have a hard time seeing imperative when I just want to be in the classroom helping the kids. I am tired of being talked to like I am 5 from the program staff that are teaching us to be teachers. Today, after two weeks of note taking on my lap top (something many of us do), we were told we could longer use them to take notes because they, the TFA staff, think we are being distracted and not engaged in the material. First off, laptops were originally required and now I have a great organizational system on my computer. I am a successful college graduate who feels I should be able to organize myself in the way that I have learned, over the years, allows me to succeed best. In addition, our whole corps at my elementary school got talked to about not being engaged and not falling asleep/doodling (yes, a friend of mine got written up yesterday for doodling). This talk was right after a session that talked about if your students are not engaged and excited about what you are teaching then the teacher is failing the students and not doing their job effectively. It is so hard to stay awake everyday during these sessions with my un-engaging instructor when I slept for 3 hours the previous night because I was lesson planning.

I am just complaining and it’s not getting me anywhere. The kids are great... I have no idea why I am teaching 1st grade bilingual when I signed up for upper elementary English speaking as I do not know Spanish (yes, I know it is possible to teach English to Spanish speaking children without knowing Spanish, but I don't have a full understanding of proper methods and pedagogy. I would not mind the bilingual part if I was taught how to the material. Thank God for Kay's class at Whitman on teaching bilingual education, but, that didn't equip me to all of a sudden be alone in a first grade classroom and teach my lessons in English (they have never had an English teacher--Houston School District requires English to be taught starting in the 3rd grade) But, for some odd reason I am teaching these kids in English--mind you these are kids who are in summer school! So, they clearly need extra help. Am I really the person to provide that to them? I was a Sociology college student just a month ago... I am not trained for this!

Ok, I am done! I am meeting such amazing people here and I do like it... it is just an emotional roller coaster... seeing cockroaches attack my room, seeing students say new words in English, seeing them comprehend something I just taught them--today it was what a river is, and being called Ms because they have never had an English class and do not know the difference between Mr. and Ms makes it all worth it. -Robert

First Day of First Grade

I was terribly nervous going into Ms. Hernandez's first grade classroom today to take over her class for the next four weeks. I was nervous for a variety of reasons that include failing as a teacher, not seeing the achievement I want to see in my children, messing up lesson plans, losing control over the class, etc. I had extreme stomach nerves as the children fled into the cafeteria for morning stretching and dancing (something Browning Elementary does every morning... I can't explain it; you'd have to see it!) My tense nerves were calmed once I began meeting students. "You're Mr. Street! Are you going to be my new teacher?" several students asked. It was really awkward to hear little 6 year-olds use my last name. I taught the first block of the day when the children were the best behaved.

After the Pledge of Alligience and the Pledge to Texas (something I hate!) I introduced myself to the class and my other collaborative members who were in the room to begin the diagnostic testing process to see how much our children knew and what our goals needed to be in order for them to be at or above grade level by summer schools end (19 more class days!). The kids were awesome, after taking the kids to the bathroom (we have to take the whole class every 90 or so minutes) we learned classroom rules, expectations, and what it means to be a super star (our achievement program to get them excited for learning). I had their attention and had fun in the process... Then, the air conditioning system broke down and remained broke for the whole entire day... it was miserable. The kids didn't mind nearly as much as we did. After my classroom teaching block, I had to go into CS session (the class that we are all taking to learn pedagogical skills, lesson planning, etc, a VERY miserable class to begin with as our instructor is not the world's best and the room is cramped and we have to sit on little stools and most classes are 120 minutes) with 35 other people who, after 5 minutes, were drinched in sweat. To make it worst, a lot of us fell asleep at various points during the miserabley hot and gross session and got written up for it, it was horrible. Everyone was extremely irritable and tired. I fell asleep the second I got on the bus. I am cooled off now both physcially and mentally and ready to begin lesson planning and preparing for tomorrow.

I am so surprised as to how little our studnts know according to the diagnostic tests we administered today. It is extremely motivating though as now I know what to begin attacking so they can be better learners with more confidence and prepared for 2nd grade next year. I was definitely tested today, on my first day, and am excited for tomorrow and for the days to come. I'll be honest, there were moments today where I told myself, "Why the hell are you in here and doing this?!"

Much love to you all, stay cool.
Robert

First Weekend Off and a New Home!

This weekend has been a much-needed break with time away from school and TFA. I learned quickly the importance of Fridays at 4 and happy hour. On Fridays the schools we work at hold socials for us at various parts of Houston. This last Friday we went to David Buster's an adult version of Chuckie Cheeses with a lot of arcade games, good food, and a large bar area. Saturday morning, Nels and I were picked up by our apartment locator who took us around for a good part of the day to look at apartments. We looked at 4 different apartments but found that we actually are kind of picky, as we really wanted something that was not too apartment-esque, we wanted something that is well put together and fairly nice. The last apartment we found we immediately fell in love with.

The apartment is called Broadstone at West Eighteenth. It is a brand new apartment, so we are the first ones to live it. It feels more like a loft/condo. The place is absolutely amazing. It has a very contemporary feel to it. The clubhouse area has an outdoor living room with fireplace, wireless by the resort style pool, free espresso machine, and an AMAZING gym with a spin room with 8 bikes and flat screen TVs. All of the cardio machines also have their own TVs. The apartment we are renting has three bedrooms (a guy named Drew from Chicago is our 3rd roommate). The apartment features granite countertops, hardwood floors, track lighting, large oval bathtubs in both bathrooms, double sinks in both bathrooms, stainless steel appliances, pantry, washer and dryer etc. It is amazing! We are on the second floor right above the pool. The apartment is also very secure with a remote access parking garage where all cars are under cover with a security guard monitoring 24 hrs/day. You can check the complex out at: http://www.broadstonewest18th.net/home.html We are paying a little over $600 a person which is much cheaper than a lot of the other places we saw and were not nearly as nice.

We move in July 1st, so soon. Last night TFA took us to the Mariners vs. the Astros game at Minute Maid Park. Despite the Mariners losing we had fun.

Time to lesson plan, I can't believe my first day in my classroom is tomorrow, yikes!

Robert

It seems like it has been a month

I cannot believe how long it has taken for four days to go by and I cannot believe how tired I am. I will try so hard to not make this a pity party for people to read, but it has been so tiring. It will be so much better once class time starts and we actually get to work with children.... 14 hour days of solid class has just been one of the most brain exhausting things I have been through. It has, however, been fun with the amazing people I have been meeting. Its funny the things we all begin to find funny and how crazy we all act. Today was a day of laughter, as it seems we have all gone crazy. Our advisors give us silly puddy and play doh to play with during class to keep from falling asleep and we are asked to stand up in the back of the room if we start to nod off, sure enough after 10 minutes of class today I was standing up in the back of the room... it didn't help so I was given an apple to eat and silly puddy. I was so tired.

One of the girls got silly puddy stuck to her new suit pants, comical for quite awhile. We've been having fun speaking in phonemes and watching others pass out on their desk only to wake up to a strong jolt. As hard as this is, I am having fun. Today, I left my lunch on the school bus, something you don't want to do! So I didn't have a lunch and I did not have my mom to come and bring it to me... I used to do this type of a thing fairly often.

I am teaching 1st grade Science next week, I will be teaching all about oceans, rivers, and lakes.... pretty excited about it. I am so thankful for having some Education course background as it has made me more of an expert than the kids without any Education coursework. Lesson plans are so hard though! Especially teaching 1st graders, it has been awhile since I have been around that age. I will have a language barrier as I am teaching in a monolingual Spanish 1st grade class with 12 boys and 1 girl. I hope it works out, it means a lot of pictures!!! Here is a sample of my very silly first grade lesson:

"Good afternoon boys and girls! I am so excited to be back in class today to fill our minds with more science smarts! Are you all excited?! Yesterday we talked about rivers, who can tell me what a river is? Today we are going to talk about another body of water, this time we are going to learn about oceans!"

Dramaturgical I know, but that is what is needed!

I have these random bouts of extreme longing for Walla Walla and Whitman, which makes me so sad. This city is just so large with so much traffic, I will just have to adjust and know that Walla Walla can be in the future if I want it to be.

Last night I had dinner with one of my students from the boarding school I worked at last summer. He is from Houston and went to Wolfeboro last summer. I tutored him as well as Resident Advised him. He is a wonderful kid and someone who really looked up to me last summer. We had a wonderful meal as we caught up on what he has been up to. He had a lot of academic apathy prior to coming to Wolfeboro. Last summer changed him and now he is doing really well at a boarding school in Virginia.

Ok, I have to finish my discipline policy and try to stay awake to do it.
Much love, Robert

The Gift Houston Is About to Give Me

Houston is about to trust me with their most precious gift, the gift that is their future...their children. I am nervous as I embark on the journey to begin educating the children of Houston in just 6 short days. I will be teaching 1st grade for Houston's summer school program. I am nervous as I have so many goals and ideas to accomplish and nervous of how hard and difficult it will be.

Today was the first test of endurance as I sat through literally 9 hours of class where we didn't even have a lunch break (we ate in class). I was so exhausted by the end of the day, a tired I haven't felt in a very long time. Waking up at 5:00 am will be an adjustment but something I can do. I just need to remind myself what I am doing for the children of Houston, TX.

I found a really cool guy to be my housemate next year. His name is Nels; he will be an elementary science teacher at a different school that is not too far from my school. Both of our schools are very close to downtown and easily accessible. Nels just graduated from the University of Washington. We get along really well and clicked very quickly. He too has a long distant girlfriend who will also be in Washington next year. I am excited at the idea of looking for housing and looking for our ideal location; housing is cheap which honestly allows us to live in a really nice place. We are currently looking at some really nice town houses and apartments with all the amenities that we could ever need.

I am really tired, it is 9:00 and I am already going to bed... a big life change from my life at Whitman just three short weeks ago!

Robert

Day 1 in Houston

Life is crazy! I feel so many different emotions that I can't even describe how I really feel, does that even make sense? Graduation was 3 weeks ago, it seems so much more distant than that. Leaving Walla Walla was the hardest thing I have ever done... I haven't cried that hard in years. I grew to love Walla Walla and absolutely loved Whitman. Whitman gave me an amazing four years with a great network of friends that I will deeply miss. It was so hard to say goodbye to those I love. Making it harder was the idea of leaving WW to go to Houston, a scary, humid, and unknown place. I am usually up for adventures and relish the opportunity to explore new places, unfortunately, it was very difficult to have anything other than apathy toward moving to Houston.

I arrived in Austin a day and half after graduation. I had a job coaching at UT Swim Camp with the world's best swimmers (7 world record holders, including my favorite, Brendan Hansen the most amazing breaststroker alive) and the current US Olympic coach, Eddie Reese. Austin was amazing! I loved my time there, I loved my job, I loved the staff, and the kids too. I had such a positive experience. I really hope to come back next year and coach again. Austin was a perfect transition from my wonderfully relaxed and beautiful life as a Whitman student to an adult in the working world in Texas. The weather was hot and muggy, not as bad as Houston, but different than WW, again a good transition from home to the South. The long tiring days also helped me prepare for what is to come this summer.The last night I was in Austin, Brendan Hansen and his girlfriend and roommate took me to the Salt Lick, a famous all you can eat barbque place outside Austin, it was awesome!

I arrived in Houston last night. It is just as muggy and gross as I had anticipated. I immediately met some really cool people who I related to immediately. It is a small world, it is crazy how many people I know through people. We had a barbque dinner at a park near Rice which was a fun way to meet people. Last night a group of us had ice cream and wine in our 50 degree hotel room. I like the other corps mebers as of now... so much energy, enthusiasmm, and intelligence. I was a little weary of the Teach For America people prior to coming as I know their intensity and education backgrounds, this is a haven for Ivy league grads--there are so many of them. However, the people I have met, thus far, are really relaxed and fun and have procrastinated on all the pre-orientation Teach For America assignments that we had (think hundreds of pages of reading and 8 or so essays) to complete.

I am getting more and more excited to begin teaching and for being able to explore Houston. Right now, I am content staying inside the Crown Plaza where it is a comfortable temperature. This summer is going to be intense, working full time in a classroom, student teaching in summer school, developming lesson plans, etc on top of 8 hrs of classroom time where I will be learning to be an effective teacher who is equipped with the skills to create change in my students so that the achievement gap in America can be eliminated. I will be living at the University of Houston begining tomorrow. I have a job interview this next week at Garcia Elementary teaching 3rd grade in a 94% Hispanic school with several other corps members in other grades. Looking forward to it!

Love you all!
Robert